Forgive & Forget

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Through out time, I seem to find that life is a pattern of give and take. Most believe that in order to forgive someone that said person must atone in some way or form that they are completely and full kindheartedly sorry for what ever reason. But what if they never apologize or even acknowledge that they cause some kind of effect to you and your life. What then?

“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.Love them anyway.” – Some Wise Person

So I began my search for the reasons why I keep forgiving people and not holding a grudge….. (even if I really want to and should) The above quote was something I heard a neighbor of mine tell his grandson about his own daughter.  He said it as if he lived by it his whole life, like it was something he stated every time he was hurt or wounded by another. As you can tell it stuck with me even though I was only 10 when I heard it. It amazed me of it’s truth.

People are illogical, hopeless in stating what truly frightens them. Unable to give a reason for doubt or negative actions that make them poisons to themselves. And my favorite, self-centered. Awww you think the world spins for you and you alone, so why concern yourself with other’s feelings and emotions that they bare to you. Yet to love them anyway……..

“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

How can I forgive someone who thinks as me as a stepping stone to where they want to go or to be. (or not to be hahaha I couldn’t help myself) Some how we shouldn’t forgive someone who could care less right? I mean what makes me less important than you? Who do you think you are to put yourself above the feelings of others? Why is it that your ego is to be stroked as if your value has increased over night?

The quote above simply says to hell with you and your pride. (More or less) In general your just another person just like me.(Just like me you can be hurt, just like me you can cry, just like me life will take it’s toll) Now that sounds like a reminder of humanity and less of a threat…….

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”C. JoyBell C.

Love and Hate may seem different but they do share similarities. Both are an extreme passion of another emotion that has been pushed to the extreme. How extreme you ask. Well your favorite food was just a food that in thought could have sounded good and once had you wanted to relive the taste over in over again like an hidden obsession that only you knew of. Then one day you eat enough due to a challenge becoming sick of the smell, let alone the taste and the sound of it’s name even makes you sick. (Like is to Love as Sick is to Hate, yet to hate you had to at on point in time loved.)

This quote above uses Family as a subject for forgiveness to fix “Broken Family” stating that family is ties to the heart. By ties to the heart means some kind of passion is at play for a person to be thought of igniting the urge of any kind including hate. Hate is not simple to achieve seeing as most people can not hate someone without giving chance after chance to reverse or change an error that has occurred. (How do you think we get heart broken, disappointed, embarrassed, or resentful.) Everyone goes through something but is the past just the past?

“Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential

Seems crazy that any response of being yelled at should be “Oh thanks! Have a great day.” (I’m too sarcastic to not say this, but they will know for sure I don’t mean it at all) This quote had me in awe of how understanding should be lived and not just thought about. Over and over we find our selves trying to figure out what we did to get yelled at but never looking at who that person is. Some people deal with pain differently than others causing a ripple effect. Ripples that are only where a mark or touch has been placed and spread out because it has to much energy to just remain in on place.

I was taught that energy both positive and negative can be transferred to someone else. (Remember I mentioned at the beginning that whole give & take thing, whelp ta-da!) A simple good morning can travel around the world for ever, even saying it to a stranger can make another stranger say it to another. Someone took their positive energy and started a positive ripple effect that could have given someone else another day on earth cause yesterday could have been the worse. Some how they now know that that was yesterday and today is new and full of hope. Negative energy is the same but like all things bad, it can spread just as fast and cause more damage to each who encounter it.

Seeing as no will ever experience things the same, we can never know what effected someone else. We will never know their pain unless we ask and they tell, unless they write and we read, and vice verse.

“We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward.”Alison Croggon

Now that we understand what pain caused us to hurt in the first place, and we understand that “understanding” is a lifestyle we should choose before we react. Lets get down to understand why we should forgive. (My opinion anyway) I believe people should be open to forgiving others because we all make mistakes and I would want to be forgiving.

What if you knocked something like an antique over? It was just sitting on a side table and you bumped the table causing the antique to just fall over smashing on the floor. No one was around but you knew it wasn’t yours so you just tossed it and went on about your business. Then later on you find out that it belonged to a  recent friend’s passed aunt. You sum up your pride and go apologize, but they are not trying to hear that. They were adopted and that was the only family they knew and was lucky enough to have met, all foiled by your clumsiness. So you say things like ” I honestly didn’t mean it”; “I just want you to know how bad I feel”; “It was an accident. I would never do anything like that on purpose”. Yet still no go. They could care less. Days past and you forgot about it, then you see that person and you insistently feel guilt, you can see their anger with you. You try one more time to apologize but again no go. So you say forget it out of anger and move on with life.

Mean while that other person in our mini story is in debt because her aunt who passed told her to go back to school to start her own business. That antique was enough to pay for school, buy a house, a new car, buy her own store front, pay for her first year on all bills, and still have a nest egg for any uncertainties. Of course no one knew because she was trying to be humble and focus on her dreams. Yet every time she sees you, it reminds her that her dreams won’t come true all because of you.  The whole situation makes her weak and depressed to the point she quite school, moved back with her abusive boy friend and started drinking heavily.

So I’m curious who you’re rooting for. Is it person A, accident prone with many attempts to atone for it but no luck so said person moves on; or person B, had all her hopes & dreams on an priceless antique that was destroyed by a clumsy friend who now boils her blood when seen driving by anger to poison herself.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I know you’re going to hate me for this, but person A was kinda right and person B not so much. Not saying that B had no right to be upset, but to go to drinking and abuse, does she think that would help in anyway. (Plus why didn’t she have insurance on the antique if it was so priceless?) Just because you planned and now it’s extinct, doesn’t mean you stop moving forward. Person B moved back. She lost sight of what her aunt really wanted to teach her. Moving forward! Her life would have been better even after the fact, if she keep working towards her dream. Person A who tried to apologize may have been able to help her and keep her a float. (I mean you never know person A could be rich.)

The point is  you can’t move forward holding on to the past. The quote above made it so simple. The past may have hurt but if you truly want that hurt to be used as strength, then you have to forgive.  Let go of your anger and look for a solution. Forgive yourself for being in the situation, but learn the signs so the situation can never happen again. Forgiving the situation including the person(s) involved, means that a change in your life can occur with out any one close coming being a threat. Not to mention we are all human, we all make mistakes, and fall hard. It’s what we do, but to get forgiveness you have to give it first. (Even if it’s your self.)

See person A was kinda right because of trying to move on, but she was still bond by the situation too. If something is truly over a situation you shouldn’t feel guilt, for even a second if you already done your best. I minds will trick us into thinking we know what someone is thinking but lets be honest that’s above us. Plus the drive for moving on was due to pride and anger itself.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

 

Welp Be strong & I hope this helps……. Ok Laters!

 

Let’s plan a trip! 😒

“Do you wanna build a snowman ” is stuck in my head on a loop 😐
Any who…..
It’s snow and pipes across the land are freezing but I’m still in a great mood! Mostly because I was off for two days  and had a kid free weekend! Yay  me 🎆🎊🎇 Now don’t get me wrong I love the time I get to be a super malfunctioning mom but come on people who doesn’t need a break from kid movies & 5^ games.🙌 plus all the people I know and trust to watch my little have hectic work schedules so I take what I can get 😂
Yet today it got me honestly thinking about plans. (Times I had a plan to do or go somewhere and they just fell threw ) We all have them. Plan on going out with the girls  but get called to work, or you plan a romantic evening for two but some how it’s multiplied in to 4 because someone invites themselves plus one cause they don’t want to be the third wheel 😒 (No one invited you or your plus one cause if we did there would be no candles and extra place settings! ) Please excuse me I can’t express how many times this has happened to me and my mate.:(
Anyway I try not to make plans till the last minutes mostly cause people don’t follow through. I know what your thinking what about planing months in advance? Well I’m glad you asked. 😁 it still won’t work…. Need that example?
Let’s plan a trip!
You send out a wonderful detailed message to all your friends that you miss them and want to plan a trip so we can all get away and reconnect. You plan the trip to be in June cause it’s January now.  (Seems to be a fair amount of time to save and get everything straight . Right? ) At first everything is great:  people calling to find out the dates, time,  place we’re going, how many rooms,  who else is going, can they bring one more person, can I share a room, how are we getting there,  do I have to drive, what should we bring, what’s there to do, etc. (You’re so excited that you find yourself talking about the trip day & night ) Then you get that one issue (The first issue usually isn’t bad just need to iron out details.  Something easy that you just didn’t think of ) “How many people are actually going so I can look for a house with enough space?!? ” It take 3 days for you to get a full total,  so you start looking for a place then. Let’s say out of the 20 people you texted only 10 texted you back and 4 out of the 10 are single and are childless.  So you figure in the house has 2 rooms with 2 beds in them no problem. Right?  😂😂😂😂😭😭😭 wrong wrong wrong. (And right on time your second issue comes into play ) Everyone wants to know the price but if they have to share the room then they can split the price because it’s only fair. Well some how it gets out that 4 people have a cheaper price. Oh and one of those four waited until the prices were all set to ask if they could bring someone else cause we would just love them!  (How you just gonna invite someone random who wants there own room. See this is how you get yourself uninvited )
Nevertheless you straightened it all out with no problem but then it’s time to get together and pay up. Welp is all that is needed.  People start to complain about the timing and the price. How things should be included and you still try to hold on cause it’s only three months away and you can still change the plans no problem. 😂😂😂😂 (You know how this ends.) You get your friends drunk and now only 8 out of 10 is going now cause 9&10 hate each other since 9 flirted with 10s boyfriend ( this may not happen but it does make for a good read 😄) So everyone now has there own room and the same price.
But wait with all the money spent on transportation (cause no one wants to drive ) , food & supply (cause no one wants to go shopping ) and a huge house close to all the sites,  you start to get your excuses. (My boss won’t let me off, I need my money back to pay a bill, no one will watch my kid / kids, my car won’t start, I lost my job, I broke up with so&so,  I forgot I was going somewhere else on those dates,  and my favorite I just don’t want to go anymore.  )
:oops::|:(😣😒😫😠:evil:😤😵😟😈👿😶
The more excuses you hear the madder you get. It’s like they don’t even care that day & night you planned a trip that would cost you more than them. Let alone the hours and lack of sleep you lost just to spend time with people who live in the same state as you.  Smh but it happens. This is all my opinion maybe I have terrible friends or I’m just not ment to travel. Whatever the reason I just wanted to share Whelp 👉L+8+🍟

Love is a challenge

Who among us has ever had a heartbreak?  Cheated on?  Been the last on the list in a relationship?  (If you raised that hand for 2/3, then this may obtain to you )
The definition of love is so overwhelming that I don’t think it can be even written in a year let alone in a  sentence. What love is like…..  It’s pure, honest, hopeful & hopeless at the same time. It can cause you to hate someone so much but still laugh when they do the funniest thing. It’s a passion to want to know someone so much that those corny movies that you teased and complained about all make sense. It’s walking to a store and knowing that those nasty chips are his/her favorite so you have to get them. It’s waking up with a smile cause you may get to see them today or even hear the voice that can make you smile like you’re on the most potent drug in history. It’s cooking a meal with your heart and watching it so close that you don’t even remember that you don’t know how to cook. It’s making time to talk,  email,  or even facetiming just to get a piece of that other person. It’s hearing a song (every song) and thinking OMG that us or that’s so him lol.
All sounds so simple and possible huh? Well how about what love will make you do. Yes!  Checking your phone at least 40 times because why not. Listing all the kid names with his last name because all of a sudden a Jr would be so cute (ps Jr is not cute to me. One of me and YOU  is enough ) Anywho….  Buying extra things at the store because if bae / honey stays the night they won’t leave so fast if at all. Then you’re planing things to do together without asking because we’re a couple therefore we shall do couple stuff. Doing couple stuff 😒 sleeping on your side of the bed??????  (I still don’t do that ) letting your honey take over the bed to the point you have to sleep on the floor because tonight she or he decided fighting ninjas in their sleep would be the perfect to to practice. (Maybe That’s just me teehee)
Going to things you hate for over an hour because if you do this,  they will do that 🙄 Dealing with snoring because maybe it a condition that they just can’t help (this is true love when you can even sleep through it all night )

See love is not that simple on it’s own,  so why make it harder with that wall?  Oh don’t play coy with me.  You know that wall you put up when that Mr or miss broke your heart that you swore never again will you ever love again unless….. 
Unless is usually what woes you or calls you on you’re bs.  But remember you don’t come with a sign that says been through bull shit so handle with care.
It’s important to talk to that person who is on the same accord as you. If your working, then so should he/she. If you like to travel, talk on the phone, go out,  spend time with friends & family,  then they should too. (Even if they don’t do everything they should at least try , as well as vise versa.  Treat them how you want them to treat you ) All relationships are give & take,  and if it’s one sided where there is no balance then….🙅 it’s just not going to work. The truth is that everyone has been through some bull at one point of their life, and we shouldn’t make others pay the price on a bill someone else ran up. Get mad, write an angry letter,  burn it and then move on with ya life. Don’t forget tho but don’t apply the same method to every person you meet.  If someone is showing you love and giving you that time with out you even having to ask then go with the flow. Give what you get. Also communication is key! Talk bout those past relationships,  or your past period. 
Love takes time so don’t rush it and be honest! 
Whew!  I tired now sooooo 👉L+8+🍟

Am I

Ever wonder how it’s possible to love yourself so much that no matter what people think of you it makes you fall over in laughter on the floor, in tears, turning red?!?!
Yea, it makes me all tingly in side too 😂😭😂😭😂
Truth is people can’t always know what’s going on with another person 24/7 unless there conjoined at the hip, and even then they still will have to think like that person to get exactly how they feel. Let alone the emotional scares of past experience that make them view things & situations the way they do.
My Nanna use to say, ” if you lace up someone else’s shoes to were, you still would have no idea how the holes got there.” 👵 (she was a smart & wise old lady ) What’s funny is I had no idea what she was talking about till I started working 😂:mrgreen:
Every person I met was either a pain in my ass or someone who I didn’t mind seeing for 8hrs 5 days a week with. Even the bosses I’ve had were the same. They could either care about their employees or look at them as chess pieces ♞♟♜♝ It never seemed to be a complete set just whose the favorite and whose not.
My granny taught me not to judge but I must Amit that I would go to these jobs, and just watch! 👀👀 oh & listen 👂. Mainly to the bs people spit out instead of the truth, like other people’s feelings were a game or as if they shouldn’t have an opinion on what will effect them. It’s honestly sad what people will do for money, even sacrifice their families.
So with that said:
At the age of 24, I had to get to know me fast. I learned that I do have a huge heart, that I care more than I should, I cry when I’m disappointed that people don’t care like I do.💗 I learned that I’m not a mind reader and shouldn’t expect others to be either. I learned to love all people🌐, but I don’t have to like any of them. 🙅 I learned that action speaks louder than words and that if someone wants to be there for you, they will smite a thousand armies to do so. (That may have been a little dramatic. But hey why not) I learned that life is what you make it and that we should make It grand. I learned that my name is my legacy and when people speak it, it will sound as if surround sound has been turned to Max ! 🔈🔉🔊 I learned that people talked about Jesus so let them unless I want to give them a glorious topic to include my name in. The last thing I learned is that every words I say can not be taken back, so I say what I mean and mean what I say!
Have you learned who you are today?
We live In a crazy world, and we have the next generations looking at us, Let’s give them something hard to follow! Let’s put the bar so high that they can’t help but want to reach it! 👉L+8+🍟

Built Ford Tough

Ever feel like you just had enough? Like no matter what you do, it’s not enough? 
Those days you just want to scream!
The sad thing is when you going through,  everything happens at once.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse,  boom!  It does.
Need an example?  ;)I’m glad you asked:
Running late to work?  Well by all means why not run into traffic.  Oh Well that’s not enough,  Well hear goes that engine light that has been on for months and now all of a sudden you hazard light are on with you on the side of the road. Now for the Boom,  your boss calls and says if not there for the mandatory meeting,  your  fired. 😱 Then your phone dies cause you thought it was on the charger, but no it wasn’t even plugged in all the way, :o!
To be honest this would be a great day to say fuck it,  turn around,  go home,  get back in bed and try this thing called life tomorrow…….  but even that wouldn’t help.  Not only do you have bills but your behind on a bill that you just thought you would pay with your next check……  which might be your last 😱
Well hello adult Hood…. 🙄 come hear often?
Are you thinking imma give this great line of advice on how to make things work?
I bet your thinking she must have no idea what a bad day is?  Or how much worst that Boom factor can be?

I could prove you wrong but why rain on your Pitty parade!  Feel Sorry for youself , and no don’t look on the optimistic side (no one really likes those people anyway! Right? )
Let’s just say that I’m super wise and I happen to be an old crazy lady with 200 cats 🐱(y? Because go big or go home Lol Also because I happen to know I would have a huge house to accommodate those loyal felines ) Anywhose!
Life goes and no one cares if your day sucks most likely theirs does too. See somebody never got that job, or they didn’t even wake up that morning. Somebody is homeless and hasn’t had a decent meal in months.  Everyone goes through something, so shut up,  put on your big girl or boy undies and keep it moving!
Got fired?  You never liked that job anyway. Plus you need a vacation to see your mom that will loan you a few Bucks till your back on feet.
Car brake down? No problem I wanted to loose that extra 20lbs for the summer anyways.

Welp I don’t wanna type anymore my fingers hurt:'(👉 L+8+🍟

Perfect @

I am super dull  this morning because I am super sleepy.  With that I also find myself being a fool.  You see I’m still in love with someone who always leaves me confused.  Confused if we are trying to be something or getting around to being close to something or just a whole lot of nothing. Now usually I’m not the type to sit around and play on “what ifs “, but I can’t help it when it comes to him. 
The butterflies when he calls, text,or im me. The awkward ‘I’m not going to stare at him cause that would be creepy and there is probably a unwritten girl  law against it somewhere ‘ gazing out the window playing it cool (cause yeah that’s how I roll )@( ̄- ̄)@  The amazing thing about dating him was every date we either went Dutch or I treated.  While all the other dates or days I got to sit by a phone even though I knew he wasn’t  coming. He was far from the gentleman I met way back when….  or maybe he was the same I just never noticed.
I mean who doesn’t want to fall in love and have that perfect fairy tale love long lasting life?
But who would what to image that with someone who doesn’t feel the same & let’s be honest you know nothing about.
I really know nothing intimate about this Dude cause every single question I asked was just subject changed, O_o? I’m all like sweet just ignore the fact that I worked up enough courage to ask you a Well thought out question ! No really it’s just what I always wanted to know. Please tell me again how you jumped from the third story window and save a bag of Doritos
-_-b
(Just noticed I’m very sarcastic when I’m sleepy Lol )
Maybe I just wanted something so bad that I just accepted anything.  (Ha look at me making sense and what not )
This entry is not the tale of how I won his heart and he is laying next to me with dragon breath…… It’s not the tale of when I was looking at him my knight and shining armor rescued me from my self….. No this is the tale of how I grew up and seen that it was time to let someone who couldn’t give me what I wanted or even needed the opportunity to have several seats with himself. I blocked his number, his fb, his oovoo, Skype, glide, and instagram (he wasn’t using them to contact me anyway ) I had to see that when someone really wants you they will show you every chance they get. Either to call you and say goodnight or that text in the morning telling you that your who they love, want, need!
Now don’t get me wrong , I don’t hate him one bit. I’m actually grateful and thankful, because if I could love Mr. Wrong so strong…..  can you imagine how much love I’ll show Mr. Right?
I doubt he’ll notice that I’m even gone but at least I will have a chance to move on.                
👊👊knock knock
“whose there? ”
L+8+🍟;)

Tea please!

When life gets rough or I just feel overwhelmed, you won’t believe what I do.  I drinks me some Tea!♡♠◇♣ Royalty at my Best, and after I burn my tongue at least twice, I must Amit I really do feel better. I get to sit down near a window and sip my issues & stress away. My kid will even have tea  with me when she wants to talk. You would think she was a little old lady the way she get the yapping about nothing Lol. And I know what your thinking…..
No I’m not British even though I can pull off a great accent,  I just like how they take time out of the day just for some leaves and hot water Lol. I believe it adds to a certain value of how they react in life when it comes to work, family,& friends.  It’s like a traditional thing with them, even other cultures drink tea. Some for dinner, some for lunch, some for meeting your arch enemy for brunch. I haven’t studied it like a full on exam paper due in 4hrs so your up Googling every word similar to the topic, but I have noticed a few things over the years. (Plus my boss has banned me from drinking coffee at work cause I start to act like the kids a port discovery ) his words,  not mine lol≧﹏≦
I wonder if we all took a real break every day just to Sit and meditate, and sip on some sexy smooth tea, I bet we would feel great!
Then I could Write about Hump Day breaks *^▁^* or Nap breaks (for us single folk who don’t have no bodies to hump )
Anywhos 🙌L+8+🍟✌